emotional rollercoaster

at times u feel SUPER PEEEEEEEEEEK CHEEEEEEK to the miax
















at times u feel sooooo glad that u were ever alive




welcome to the emotional rollercoaster, where mood can swing every minute......




in the end of the day, its all nothing but a pass of time, and an interesting part of life



ps: pic demand by popular

gollum song

Where once was light
Now darkness fools
Where once was love
Love is no more

Don’t say goodbye
Don’t say I didn’t try

These tears we cry
Of falling rain
For all the lies you told us
The hurt the blame

And we will wait
To be so alone
We are lost
We can never go home

So in the end
They will be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me

Now we say goodbye
We say you didn’t try

These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt the blame

And u will wait
When u face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home

You are lost
You can never go home

--------------------------------------------------------
super depressing song.... from lotr

on the coffe table

knowing the truth
but ignoring the fact
i'm blinded with excuses
and there is nothing else left

"i believed"
and i try
but sometimes i lose faith
when it is time for goodbye

another off the list
and another search begin.
it is good experience though
like black widow eating her husband
and then searching for more to hunt.

its time to move on
again!
for there is nothing much to gain

such is life
who else would diassagree?
i would sing "di di di di di~~" in the mornings
and end nights with an "oh well"
although everything is not well.
day just have to come,
and night just have to go.
i just have to show
and you just have to know.

if you don't response
i shall just treasure more
with dignity and pride,
that is all.

interlude

i'm having a junk food relationship with one of my friends....

ps. junk food is well known for unhealthy

no more perfect

nobody is perfect, i understood that
but quietly creeping underneath my conciousness,
is the thought that i am "perfect"
i didn't even notice this until a friend came and enlightened me
at that moment, i felt so insecure
like all hopes had been grabed
my confidence shattered into pieces
who am i right now?
i found myself yrs ago,
for all these years being comfortable and confident of myself
now i question my own set of rules to life
what is right or wrong?
what defines good or bad?
does it matter?

i am who i am, take it or leave it
i do thing for myself,
i take responsible only for myself and the things that i do
i am who i am, i am... who am i?

i guess i would have to find out more
life is uncertain, neither is every choice and opinion
there is so much more to life, so many things to learn
"open up, and you shall gain more"

naughty mickey

yet another drawing by colby...
i duno why, but i luv this mickey a lot. maybe of that bright white teeth? lol

(http://www.xanga.com/Colby3h)

more of the moment

"decisions are made at the moment, for the moment.
go ahead and follow your heart
they might even lead to failure in the future,
but at least, i had lived my life to the fullest."

everyday i grow stronger and stonger, with every breakdown i climb higher.
it is the moment which i live at, and live for that make life so wonderful!!

prac session - PIGS

last thursday's animal and society prac was dealing with pigs!

learnt how to tie them, tip them, and estimate their weight.

pigs are actually quite cute, but filthy!!! they will eat everything that fall on the floor, including their own poo. for example, in the pig's pen, one of the pic poo on my classmates shoe, and in a split second, all the other pigs rush by and lick all the shit, and the shoe is clean again =.=""

another thing about pigs is they squeeeeek reallly loud. now i understand why they have the chinese term 杀猪般吵 (as noisy as killing a pig), coz when u r not even going to kill them, they can already shout till your ears "boing!"!! their squeeking are satruday night metro club music equavalant ok? (ps. metro = one of the loud clubs in perth)

one more important thing..... THEY BITE!!
i was bending down and trying to tie one of the pig, then suddenly another pig came from behind and "AAAAAAMM", took a bite on my hip!! not a light bite, i've got bruise and biting marks on my hip after that!! i hope i dun get mad pig disease!

the hardest thing to do during the prac is to estimate the pigs weight, with +/- 10% difference. u can't carry them, cant lift them. u can only estimate by observing their size. however this is particularly important, coz if ur guessing is 10% more or less then the actualy weight, then u shall DEFINATELY fail the exam.....

that prac was not as bad as i expected, although lots of people have been complaining that pig's prac are the worse! so far, i still think cow's prac are the worse...... at least pigs dun kick shit onto my face :P

deep thoughts

september 11

in god's will you kill?

comic

this comic was drawn by my friend Colby Ho, one of my mates from hong kong lol. he is very talented in using photoshop to draw this kind of comic.

weeks earlier we were watching silent hill in the cinema, and this happened when the bad guy tear of the girl's skin completely....... (note i'm the dog-like guy)
my reaction wasn't that like TAT ok??? i was just feeling high and excited XD

(colby's site: http://www.xanga.com/Colby3h )

wrestling with the sheeps

wednesday's prac class, wrestling with the sheeps! (sheep handling session)

results:
matthew : 10 points
sheepS: 249.03 points

sheeps are cute, they dun kick like alpacas, dun shit like cows and dun bite like horses.... but they can RUN, too good at running.

from that prac, we learnt how to catch a sheep, how to bring them down their bum with legs up, and how to tie them up so they won't run away. catching a sheep was easy, when u can catch any sheep from a flock, just go from its back, "kiap" its body between your legs, and hold the neck, then they bassically follow where u want them to go.

tying them down is also not hard, but have to learn all the diff ways of tying nods! damn sounds like a boy scouts work! the hard thing is, bending down to reach to their legs while tying them down. and when u r not fimiliar with your nods, u basically just bend until u broke back.

and then the worse part...... (there are always catches to my blogs), taking blood sample (again...). it seems that most of the asians in the prac always have problem taking blood sample, last time it was the cow and now it was the sheep!! sheep are actually harder than cows i think, coz they got thick wool!! and its hard to see where the vein is.........
so one of the prac helper suggest that we get a shean (watever the spelling is, it means botak) sheep, so it is easier to poke the neddle in. but one problem, there are only 3 shean sheeps in the whole pack.... and like i say, cathcin any sheep in a pack is easy, but catching a certain sheep in a pack is hellish!!!
we do it in pair, so one partner hold the sheep and another take the blood sample. so i was suppose to catch the sheep while my partner take blood sample.... and by the time i caught the shean sheep, i was already panting and exhausted like nobody's bussiness, my poor partner have to wait so long lol

finding where the location of the vein is also not a easy job..... squatted down for like 30 minutes, before i was not even sure where vein is and just ting tong tiang poke in the neddle. first neddle fail no blood come out, i was thinking to myself "oh crap, here we go again".... but THANK GOD, 2nd neddle got BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD come out.... i was so overwhelmed at the moment........ and when i stood up, i felt light headedness....... squatted to long, low blood pressure on my brain........

so i got the sheep, tied it, caught it, fliped it over, took blood sample, shave its nail, clean its hoof, and i deserve a 10 point

and the sheep, fliped me, made me broke back, light headedness, damn heavy to flip, run here and there, got shit on its body, panting, exhausted, muscle pain, shit all over my hands, too wooly to find vein etc etc, deserves a 249.3 points

you're a champion, sheeps~

小插曲 - interlude 7

5th of september,

blythe
she came to life and started singing.
"i love you my dear,
i want to look for you
although i duno where i am.
however i know u shall come looking for me,
because u know how i feel.
i love you my dear,
i am the one for you"

it was live through national tv, and even braodcasted to other countries
the whole world was listening to her

a choice is made, and i shall move one with my life

the past doesn't matter, and i shall move on with my life

the present is now and the future is here, and i shall move on with my life

my eyes are shut, my senses numb and i shall move on with my life

i'm sometimes stucked and sometimes stopped

but i shall move on with my life

i don't feel terrible. i just feel numb

for everything i have done, for every step i have taken, for every emotion felt
i am only living my life
you should too

SPECIALLY FOR YOU DANIEL LEE!!

this blog is dediacted for daniel lee wei zhi (aka nyamku aka nyamuk pondan)
other ppl can just skip to the next post pls
























dan.... ADMIT THAT U SO WANNA TRANSFER TO MURDOCH......
and i know u envy me, ur chikoness lives forever
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

CHOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY when leaving a comment, these girls can be fiesty LOL

psp attraction

this is my housemate's psp. he has this dj game which i am totally crazy about for the past few weeks! i cannot explain this dreadful passion towards this game. it's just notes passing through a bar, and u need to press the correct button as each notes passes through the bar, at the right time..... very fun right???



"DJ MAX" game for psp

but its not about the notes or the bar, its about the STATISFACTION!! when u get like 500++ combos in the game, u shall understand..... the consequtive hitting-the-right-button reflex is just overwhelmingly statisfying

~~~ "push me, and then just touch me, until i get my, STATISFACTION" ~~~




the notes are the round thing, and the yellow line is the bar
ps. break coz i was taking the photo and the game was running

another thing is that the music. every song is gooood listen, so good too good kenot good anymore. they have the nostalgic effect which brings you out of this world. and the graphic is supeeer cool lor!!




chose a song



mtv of blythe



a bit blur lar the pic, but the real one very cool

]

my favourite song to play!! wakaka

so it all adds up:
good music + good graphics + good statisfaction = good fun

my all time favorite joke (lame)

JOKE 1:

in malaysia, there is this illegal 4D company. to be able to buy the 4D number that u want, u have to find the representative of this 4D company to do it.
so guy A is a representative for the company, and guy B wants to buy 4D number. but guy B couldn't decide wat 4numbers to buy, so guy A told him that guyA's mother is buying the number 1658. so as guy B was still deciding which number to buy, guy A got impatient:

guyA:
oi! 你要买什么字啊???
(oi!wat number do u wanna buy??)

guy B think for a while, then decided and said:
我要跟你老母的字买
(meant: i wanna buy your mother's number)
(sounded in chinese: i wanna fuXX your mother's cibaX)

guyA:
..................................................................

JOKE 2:

(in cantonese)
waiter: 你要食什么粥？

costumer: 你有什么好食的粥？

waiter: 皮蛋粥，瘦肉粥，元宝蜡烛

costumer: ........................

JOKE 3:
tausa bun, and bbq pork bun are male buns. lotus bun is a female bun

tausa and bbq pork bun like lotus bun, however lotus bun only like bbq pork bun. because of this tausa bun got so angry and dump bbq pork bun into the river, and KILLED bbq pork bun.

wakakakakakakakakakak i always laugh at this, bbq pork bun was dumped into the river, killed!!! KILLED!!!...... ahem..

joke4:
ah beng and ah lian are couples. however one day, ah beng decided to go to UK to studies, he wants to study his degree, master, phd, and watsoever for 10 years. so b4 he left, he bought a pair of ring for ah lian and himself. and he told ah lian, 10yrs later, when i come back and still see u wearing this ring, then i will take you as my wife. ah lian agreed.

so ah beng left, and time passes fast. 10 yrs later, ah beng came back, called ah lian to meet at this park.

so they came to this park, they see each other, both still with their ring on. but they didn't wanted to go up to each other and talk. they just kept walking in rounds and ignoring each other. at last ah lian kenot take it anymore, she got so fed up, she took the ring out her finger, and threw it into the river and walked away.......

ah beng didn't felt any sad, infact he was a bit happy. after 10 yrs, his taste has change from a ah lien to a jessica alba. so he bassically was just happy tat ah lien had left.

well since ah beng was in the park, he dicided to go fishing by the river... and as he was fishing, suddenly, he got something, he can feel the weight on his fishing line. to his excite, he pulled the rod out, and to his surprise... do u know wat he got? a fish?? ah liens ring???? a boot????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
no it was the bbq pork bun (from joke 3)



i hope it lames up your day........

its raining COW SHIT!! HALLELUJAH!

for last thursday "animal and society" lab, one of the activities was to collect blood sample from a cow. blood sampling hm... should not be a hard task, first u put the cow into the crush, tie the head, apply some alcohol, then jam the 1.5inch needle into the cow's jagular vein, then suck the blood, pull it out, and wala done!

but things are not as smooth sailing for me and my partner.....

1st cow:
she was a good lovely gentle one, stood there patiently for us. BUT, to0 fat.... kenot find the jagular vein.... been poking the needles for like 10++ times, still kenot find the vein......... ok so move on to other skinnier cows...

2nd cow:
BAAD COW, too agressive, ran away..... case close

3rd cow:
EVEN BAAAD COW! even more agressive. apparently, she shit-ed while she was standing there during the prac. and when it was our turn to come to her and tied her up, she went crazy.... started struggling, fell on its side, and started kicking...... so ok, now she wants to act like a 3 yo kid who can't get her dad to buy her favourite moo-moo candy, kicking like mad on the floor.

AND THEN....... it felt like it was raining, u can feel water droping from the nose, i can feel liquid running down my face, my nose, my overalls........
it actually took me a fair 5 seconds, to notice that it is NOT RAIN, IT'S SHIT!!! OMG THE COW IS KICKNG HER OWN SHIT, IT'S FLYING EVERYWHERE, IT'S RAINING COOOOW SHHHIIIIIIIIIIT HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!

ok settle down settle down...... kenot do anything, so have to let her go and move on to the next cow....

4th cow:
GOOOOOOOD COW. finally, one that is too fat, one that is not too coward to run away, and one that is not too shitty to spray shit..... she is goooooooood, got our blood sample, with an easy push pinch and pull out..... waaaaalaaaaaaa....... as easy as that.

its not hard at all to get blood sample from a cow, REALLY

VFE 2 - dairy farm

this would be my 2nd week of farm work during the holidays. destination - dairy farm.... yeap COW MILKING!!! the dairy farm is in busselton, about 3 hours drive from perth.














MOOOOO~~~

it is no big deal really, at least i dun use my hand to squeeze coq teats, the machine does all the work!

every morning, wake up at 6am, get down to the dairy and let the cows in from the nearby paddock.... it was feaking COLD!! winter mornings are the worse, so cold that there is frost on the grass!!!
and yeah, while letting the cows in, u have to pass through cow shit..... about 1 feet thick cow shit, u step in and it takes u greater effort to pull ur feet out!! but thank god for gum boots (pua chu kang boots), if not my pants will be gone burried under shit....
















the dairy
















as u can see in the pic above, we move the cow to both side of the corridor, then in the middle, is where all the milking occurs.
















thats the machine cup sucking out the milk from the cow. so every morning that's what we do -- fixing the machine on the cow. it does looks a bit tight and painful, but the cows dun give a shit... they are too busy eating pallets!





















that's where all the milk will pass by before being stored in the bigger tank.

then after milking them, have to put them back into their paddocks. the farmer move them from paddocks to paddocks everday, so sometimes, we need to cross the roads to get to another paddock.















cows crosssing raod

well i was there for one week, from satruday to friday, and they dun work on friday, so i went to busselton town to look see look see. i visited the busselton jeti, which is a must to go when u are in busselton. the jeti is about 2km long, and i actually walked to the end, and walked back again. almost took me an hour. but it was great!! the sea is so clear, and the weather was nice, and u can see lots of ppl fishing!
















starting of the jeti



half way through



still half way.....


f
ishing people fishing fish (STILL half way)



aaaahhhhh finally.... the end!

a few updates

hello all!

ok uni just started, but damn busy right now. have to hand in my alpaca farm report this friday, and then have to do work for my group project. sigh.... the life of uni, but somehow it is better than at home doing nothing during the holidays

well i went to my 2nd VFE, which is a dairy fam, yeap this time really i did cow milking, will upload some pics and talk about my expirience later la, now very busy lol

about interludes

我朋友对我说：

"你的小插曲都写得很悲哦。再说你为人有些方面真的很悲。
什么事都非常在乎人家对你的看法，为什么要想那么多？
敢做敢爱一些好不好？？？？”

真的，想起来他那句话说得一针见血。我也没什么好说的，只好默默承认。
是什么时候开始的？
以前我脸皮还蛮厚的，现在却真的很介意人家怎么去想我，怎么去看我，怎么去批评我。
不知不觉我性格成了好害羞。

真的，我还没真真发挥我陈锦源的所有性格
有些时候， 我还是背叛了自己的意愿
有些时候，我还是 chicken out

真的, 是时候恢复我了
那个不顾一切, 永往直冲，豁出去 的我
是时候从拾信心