寂寞得害怕

小时候的寂寞是没有朋友。
长大了，寂寞就是比那时候没有朋友更寂寞。

还记得当年的夏天吗？
那些被带走的，都再也没回来。

我想
如果很爱一个人，
我们能接受这种事吗？
如果有一天 他死了
我们又会怎样释怀呢？

我们都知道
离别这种事
是生命的一部分
不过这样真的行吗?

如果很爱一个人,
不害怕他离去吗?

还有就是
我们必须接受
离去之后，
无论我们在哪 爱的人不在身边了
这样真的行吗?

也不知道为什么我们的世界是这样的
也不知道我们剩下的日子是怎样的

这就是寂寞
寂寞得害怕

ROTTNEST ISLAND!!!!

i went to Rottnest island during the easter break. me no need say more la, u guys see the pics



sun rise from the ferry



a bunch of bored cam whores


cam whores again


more cam whores (they are not together ok? pls dun missunderstand ok? althought they look like together but they are not together ok?? pls dun missunderstand ok???)


MORE cam whore..
woops, that's a quoka



ship wreck


omg me so yeng


I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD... (more likely ontop of the rock)


going to walk across a desert (sand dune)


Jacyn: "pls dun go matthew"
Me: "lan hoi la (go away)"


later on...... (Jacyn's revenge)


back again




the 4 gods of sand dune (sampah)


random bitch


random light house
funny, they have many light houses in one island


this remind me of taiwan


the water is actually red
(i think some female swimmer up stream AV lor)





Angelina Jollie and Brad Pitt


Angelina So-lli and Brad Pig



america's next top model



more cam whoring while waiting for the ferry


annie suddenly become guy....


sam seng kia!!!


wakakak overall the trip was great!! although we have to cycle all day up and down hill and had only 2 hours of sleep the night before lol

super nice, wanna go back again ah!

random bitch

went to the beach ages ago, and i just found this pic!

死神

如果手上没有剑，我就不能保护你。

如果一直握着剑，我就无法包紧你。

i need a getaway?

life right now is life-less

my everyday uni starts 8.30am in the morning, and i finish at 4.30 with labs or clinic rotations
then when i come home, i feel so exhausted. i just wanna do nothing and just sleeeeeep

uni is really draining the life out of me!!
classes after classes, practicals after practicals
then when i come home, have to prepare for exams and assignmentsss
and omg i sound like a whining bitch!

i feel so lonely nowadays, on the other hand, i feel so lazy to go out
i see people around me,
people that i know and people that i dun know who are around me everyday
i wander, how are they feeling today? where are they going now? what are they doing now?
is he going for a date? is that her baby? does she has a boyfriend? is he staying with his parents? is his parents still alive??

i wander what stories do they have?

everyone has their own stories to live on
their stories continue everyday and night,
till the end when they stop living, and call it "the end" like how every stories end

my story is this, uni
oh well, that is what a student should do. that is what a student responsibility is.
and until i graduate, this will be my story
i will find my strength and confident to live my story

so, can you tell me your story?
can i be in your story?

etudes

his speech flows like water, and it carries flower petals and leaves

the water would move swiftly through beds of rock and sand

they know it would hurt, but they never ask to slow down

and occasionally fishes come up to wander around them,

some would nibble at them while some other just admire the colors they have

they who pass through continue to flow

and they would experience the same thing again and again

but they would continue to flow

to where? till when?

and then he stops, and started walking down his path

alone, carrying nothing

The trend rigt now

What i like now:

1) they try to make me go to rehab but i say no no no~

2) "please don't stop the music---- mamase mamasa mamakosa"

3) back to black - amy whinehouse

4) my updated PSP

5) if tomorrow is now, and now is the pass, then now would be the future and present would be pass, so where are we?

6) "her face looks like her vibrator ran out of battery"

7) my scrubs

8) justin timberlake

u know what, i think i'm just desperate to try to write something on my blog.

Happy new year 2008 -- 2007 year in review

Happy 2008 new year everyone!!!
so its 12.05am now, and what am i doing....? Sitting in front of the TV, watching "Kung Fu" on Astro Celestia channel, and it's the N time i have been watching this movie liao......
wakakak what a nice way to spend new years eve and my first few minutes of new years day

2007 is history already, it has been a year of............ i can't really remember, but there are a few events that i should highlight, and try to make 2007 a rememberal year :P

"carrier wise" 2007 is my 3rd year in vet school, and i have been taking some really interesting subjects, and learning many things that are more practical and more relatable to what doctors have been doing in vet clinics. Not to forget, a whole year of pathology with Mandy O'hara........ didn't like it, but i didn't really hate it. She wasn't mean, but she wasn't "nice" either, and that can really make uni life miserable!! On the other hand the Murdoch farm animals are being exceptionally nice this year: the pigs are less noisier, and the cattle are less aggressive than usual, and practical exams with them are easy, and perphaps, fun!

love life ler, 2007 is......................................... no comment
i already had it pull out from my brain and stored in somewhere else for future further reference, like how Dumbledoor (whatever the spelling is, not a fan of fairy potter) stores his memories about Vouldermolt (again whatever the spelling is, not a big fan of the undead-facelss-dark-art bald wizards) in a big swirling water tank.
just one word to sum the whole scene: fruitless but happening (ok that's 3 words)

forget the boring stuff, now here comes the climax of 2007...... one of my friends, who insist he should be called "J" (although some other alphabet is more appropriate i think), has slept with a spanish guy!!!! that's nothing right? cause sleeping around and promiscuous-ity is too damn normal in this "unholy" 21th century. but the thing is, it's Mr J and Mr spanish guy.... not Miss J and Mr spanish guy......... shocking???FUCK YEAH!! that's what 2 beers on a Saturday night can make you do. But this site is a peace loving hippy blog, so yeah we dun discriminate people who have different needs. All the best with J and his Mr Spanish who are happily together now.

job wise, i had my first paid job of my life (yeah after 20 years :P), it was a small but very important pose in that restaurant -- dish washer cum delivery boy. FUCKING IMPORTANT OK? if i don't wash the dishes, then the chinse restaurant would become an indian restaurant (eg. eat with their hands on banana leaves). But the pay was crappy, and the boss was an ass. It's the way he talks that i don't like, but other people say "that's how Hong Kies speaks". I say "that's how a Hong Kie BOSS speaks" lol. I quit after 2 months................. and i thought they would hired a new guy, named dishwasher (the machine). but as expected they didn't, its just the rest of the other workers have to wash my dishes hehehehehe
then the next semester, i started working experience at the VetWest Veterinary Hospital, which is so much fun (although unpaid), and i really learned a lot when working there.

another highlight of 2007 was my 21st b'day party, it was a blast! so many people - so many families, so little friends..... T_T i'm not complaining, cos i had a bladdy good time, and some bladdy expensive presents :DDDDD
the after party was even better.... i shall never forget that night lol

2007 is also the year of kearsley rise!! there has been so much happening there, from fights to love, laughters to tears, breakfast to supper, pot luck to eating out, after hours mc donald to afternoon swimming sessions has all been really really really happening! definitely something to remember!

so yeah, those were the highlights of 2007. not too much right? And not really gossip magazine cover material or CNN news, but it did took me 2 hours to write this!!! its almost 2am liao! it took so long i think because of Kung Fu and X-men 3 on astro :P
i duno what's on TV now, because my Mum changed channel halfway through X-men. but ler hor, right now is the TV watching my mum... she's already asleep on the couch lol

so what will be on 2008? I'll tell you on 2009 january 1st, probably between 12-2am lol
happy new year la again, i need to go shower liao, and scrub out all the BBQ smell from my pores.
good night all!

Parasitology paper

"Question 20: 10 marks

A client visits your clinic in desperate need of advice. He has attempted ti treat his dog's flea infestation using various "flea soaps" and powders, obtained at a local supermarket. Each product drastically reduced the number of fleas on the dog, but the dog becomes reinfested shortly after the treatment. There are fleas everywhere and are now attacking your client and his family members. Describe the life history of the flea to your client and explain to your client why the dog is becoming reinfested. Design a flea control program for this client. Make sure you address the three essentials of a successful flea control program (burning down the house is not an option)"

damn WHAT?? can't burn down the house??
shit there goes my 5 marks
have to make up another point now.......

Mixed Feelings

I'm not happy, nor am i sad!

There is no reason to cry and i don't feel like laughing either

I'm having mixed feelings
I think it's because of the finals
I'm just stressed up with exams

no hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending
so everything is fucked up.................

I FEEL VULNARABLE AND THIS SUCKS!!!

what time is it?

waking up early in the morning
my senses were numb,
and i lost my only possesion - time

i had a headache. it felt like my head was on fire.
who would have thought this could happen to me?
i tried to reached out for my usual cup on the bed side table,
but the stinging pain on my elbow halt me
i stop for a while, leaving my hand hanging on air
then i decided i didn't care,
and stretch my hands fully out,
out out to space
out out to emptiness...
where is my cup?? have i lost it as well???
my mind blanked for a while
and i fall back to sleep

waking up late at night
my senses still numb
tell me, what time is it?

find me my time!
put on flyers, lost notice, wanted signs
knock from door to door
ask people from malls
search underneath your tables, drawers, beds
look, search, seek
to find my time

what about my cup?
wait till i have time then i'll search for my cup

the situation i am in right now

i am currently happy with life
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

there is so much more that i wan, like money la, time la, grades la, well-beingness la blablablablabla and there is sooooooo much more to complain

but am currently just grateful for what i have, and how i am

let us all be happy and be grateful for what we have
life is so much easier that way

:0) :0) :0)

the question about choice

life is full of choices..
HELL YEAH!

every movement is a choice
when u walk, do you chose to step your left foot or right foot first?
when u are showering do you chose to wash your hair first or your face first
when u eat, do u chose to eat the vege first, rice first or meat first????
life is full of choices

and still, many people say "i have no choice"
of course you do have a choice!!
you'll always have choice unless someone has a gun on your head and force u to do something,
then you'll have no choice (oh really?)

A or B?
A is a better choice to you, cos it would benefit you more
B is not a good choice at all, cos it gives u lots of trouble and problems
so in this cases, people will say: "i have no choice, so i choose A"
which is crap! because the question asks "A or B?"
more precisely "do you want to chose A or B??"

so i do think that people who say they have no choice are somehow irresponsible
they choose A because they blame B is too harsh, so they have to only go with A
a case of victimising one self to choice B

we always have choices in life
even when someone pointing a gun on your head, you still have a choice
you can choose to obey the gun holder and live
or you can choose to not obey and get shot in the head

we are not afraid of choices
but its rather the consequences that we are afraid of
we do have a choice, but its rather does that choice make you happy?
I can choose A or B, it's just the matter of "which would I feel happier with?"

I choose A because I don't want the troubles from choosing B
make a choice, and take responsible for it
no matter the consequences are good or bad

things that won't go away

there are some things in life that will never leave you
wounds, scars, people, ideas or thoughts,

and also... memories

you thought you have got over it
and it doesn't seems to bother you at all now
as if life is no more related to how it was back then
and you seems to have forget about it

but slowly and quietly, it does creep back to you sometimes
it will come back
and hit you at times you never expect
then you breakdown, and you depress
and it seems like now is how it was back then
but slowly, you occupy yourself
with friends, work, music, food, movies
and u slowly forget it
while it slowly fades away

was it every away??

it seems like its embedded into you
how you are right now, is determined by how it was back then
no matter how hard u try to change
you never change what has already been set in you
its unchangeable

things like this, they never go away
they haunt you forever
backthen was long long long time ago
but back then is still here, now at the present

what can u do?
get over it? forget it? suppress it?
if only we can
if only...

take a deep breath,
let it in, let it out
live with it
and life goes on

this is not a threat

it seems like nobody is reading my blog at all
so.......


if i dun get at least 5 comments for this post, I'm gonna shut down this web site

oceania

they call me god
and hum me songs from the depth
they dance for me
of silent movement in the dark
like stingrays across the sky....
every movement of that I can find in myself

in return i bestow myself
I allow wings for their men
and set them sail, free at sea
I grant pearls for their women
and set them beauty for eternity

may you all drench in me
and feel my droplets dancing on your skin
be one with me
and feel my waves sweep through your veins

when you have done good for yourself
I shall give you land
and you shall seek your glory

may you find dry embrace in this continent
for I cannot shelter you anymore
but do not forget what made you and your path
for I can make wipe your island
and turn it back to me

vet school quotes

"did you bastards even do rations??!!"
-- David, at nutrition workshop



"there are two types of orphan: congenital orphans and acquired orphans"
-- Jeffrey, bored at microbiology lecture



"One women in Western Australia had actually contracted this parasite. Unfortunately.... she was treated before we were able to take any pictures"
-- Andrew Thompson, parasitology lecturer



humping the door: "I'm a neutrophil and the door is too big for me to engulf"
-- Sandy McLachlan, clinical pathology lecturer



"Chemical disinfectants are very important, because you can't burn your hands"
-- David Hampson, microbiology lecturer



"if we let you sort groups yourself, then the girls will group together, the computer geeks will group together and the SUSHI EATERS will group together"
-- Jim Cummin, Form and function lecture

collective thoughts

"you do things for yourself, not for others"

if you stick to this concept, won't you be a bit too (just a bit) too fucking selfish?
what if you are doing something for someone because in the end it makes you happy as well?
bull shit~

it should be rephrase:

"you do things for yourself, and take responsible for what you have done. because you know it's for the better of yourself and others."

at least that's what we tell ourselves......


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"we are little boys, comforted, protected and all so cotton candy-ly made up and un-ready for the big bad real world"

its time to show them who we are and what we are capable of doing.
but then, who are you doing it for? yourself or for them?
do they know what's best for us? are "constructive" advices too destructive for our ego?
they assume they do, and we will assume they do. but not yet, not now

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"i deserve at least some credits for what i have done so far!"

Get over it. It means you are not doing good enough to earn any credits.
nobody is going to pamper anyone, we are no more children.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"i hate you to death"

hey~ at least someone still thinks of you after you die

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"people kiss you in the cheek and stab you in the back"

i couldn't agree more. such is life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"if you love me, you wouldn't do that to hurt me"

if you love someone, you won't even think they are hurting you.
people do hurt each other
but people don't intentionally do things to hurt their love ones.

things

dead things

fragile things

little things.....



fragile little things

little dead things.......



fragile little dead things......

interlude

我会为你点灯
照耀你的路程

也谢谢你给我的灿烂