oceania

they call me god
and hum me songs from the depth
they dance for me
of silent movement in the dark
like stingrays across the sky....
every movement of that I can find in myself

in return i bestow myself
I allow wings for their men
and set them sail, free at sea
I grant pearls for their women
and set them beauty for eternity

may you all drench in me
and feel my droplets dancing on your skin
be one with me
and feel my waves sweep through your veins

when you have done good for yourself
I shall give you land
and you shall seek your glory

may you find dry embrace in this continent
for I cannot shelter you anymore
but do not forget what made you and your path
for I can make wipe your island
and turn it back to me

vet school quotes

"did you bastards even do rations??!!"
-- David, at nutrition workshop



"there are two types of orphan: congenital orphans and acquired orphans"
-- Jeffrey, bored at microbiology lecture



"One women in Western Australia had actually contracted this parasite. Unfortunately.... she was treated before we were able to take any pictures"
-- Andrew Thompson, parasitology lecturer



humping the door: "I'm a neutrophil and the door is too big for me to engulf"
-- Sandy McLachlan, clinical pathology lecturer



"Chemical disinfectants are very important, because you can't burn your hands"
-- David Hampson, microbiology lecturer



"if we let you sort groups yourself, then the girls will group together, the computer geeks will group together and the SUSHI EATERS will group together"
-- Jim Cummin, Form and function lecture

collective thoughts

"you do things for yourself, not for others"

if you stick to this concept, won't you be a bit too (just a bit) too fucking selfish?
what if you are doing something for someone because in the end it makes you happy as well?
bull shit~

it should be rephrase:

"you do things for yourself, and take responsible for what you have done. because you know it's for the better of yourself and others."

at least that's what we tell ourselves......


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"we are little boys, comforted, protected and all so cotton candy-ly made up and un-ready for the big bad real world"

its time to show them who we are and what we are capable of doing.
but then, who are you doing it for? yourself or for them?
do they know what's best for us? are "constructive" advices too destructive for our ego?
they assume they do, and we will assume they do. but not yet, not now

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"i deserve at least some credits for what i have done so far!"

Get over it. It means you are not doing good enough to earn any credits.
nobody is going to pamper anyone, we are no more children.

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"i hate you to death"

hey~ at least someone still thinks of you after you die

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"people kiss you in the cheek and stab you in the back"

i couldn't agree more. such is life.

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"if you love me, you wouldn't do that to hurt me"

if you love someone, you won't even think they are hurting you.
people do hurt each other
but people don't intentionally do things to hurt their love ones.

things

dead things

fragile things

little things.....



fragile little things

little dead things.......



fragile little dead things......

interlude

我会为你点灯
照耀你的路程

也谢谢你给我的灿烂

i'm back

oh damn you know i'm back
i'm still me
whoever that is
you'll know it's me

things have changed
people have changed
for good or for bad?
to hell with that
for i don't know what's good and what's bad

i have a twist within now
like lemon like lime
i've got shine to share
and i'll have more to care
but i'm still me
whoever that is
you'll know its me

i still have love
and i still have hate
but love is more
inside my big fat head

i still have faith
and i still have fear
what will u see out there
if you haven't reach and u didn't dare?

am i better or am i worse?
i have convinced my inner devil
to do the bads
but have i not do deeds
for them and for me?
i leave this in peace
for you be god and judge me of my sins

i didn't change
because i'm still me
the essential life and energy of me is still in me

but yes i have changed
and with time and life
i will still change
for its important now and forever then

i'm still me but i have changed
but i'm still me
but i have changed
but i'm still me
but i have changed
but i'm still me
but i have changed
but ...............
...................
..................
.................

whoever that is
you'll know it's me

i'm still not dead

still alive and annoying the crap out of everyone

love yall

exam question

exam period now
but kenot tahan i must post this question that was in our nutrition exam paper
we were ask to calculate the apparent digestilibity of a new feed for pigs
this is not the exact question, but just the scenario on how they found this new feed.....

"mubuland produces octagonal chips from underground bananarama collected by male farrets with cothes peg and plastic bags....."

so thanks to mubuland i have to calculate the protein digestibility of the bananarama by-product leftover from making the octagonal chips.......

fine sense of humour our lecturer has....

note to my loyal blog readers~

Matthew is too busy having sex with Murdoch Veterinary school, so he has not been updating any post in the past, and don't think will update any post in the near future


seriously, "who needs to have sex when the vet school fucks u everyday??" (Gary Loh 2007)

i try to update my post evently

love yall!
matt

narrogin farm experience

ok first thing first, SOMEBODY ACTUALLY COMPLAINED THAT Y I SO LONG NO UPDATE BLOG!!! it's definately exciting, coz someone is actually reading and is looking forward to read my blog XD.... so touched T_T

Was missing in action for the last two weeks, cos had my farm prac experience at narrogin.
narrogin is 2 hours away from perth, but the farm is a bit off narrogin. it's actually nearer to the other shire, but still considered in narrogin la

The farm is called "Nepowie", it's a sheep and crop farm with 16k of sheep on 10,000ha of land (30kmX30km). owned by the White family.



The people there are sooooooo nice, definately different to the city people. they are so friendly, helpful and easy going.

So what have i done during the two weeks?
definately shifted a lot of sheep. we had been moving mobs of sheeps from paddock to paddock (hundreads to thoudands of sheep per mob).

And i've learnt how to ride a motorcycle (two wheel), coz it was needed to shift the sheep. hehhe it was really fun riding one, and i know i would never have the chance to do that in malaysia.... coz my parents think it is dangerous.... and it is dangerous! but when you're in the farm, with so many land and literally no traffic, it is a hell lot easier and fun to do it. didn't had any motorbike accidents there :P

Then i've been to the neighbour's dam to water ski!! yeap during the weekend, the farmer and his family bring their boats and jet ski down to the neighbouring farm for an afternoon of fun and relax. the dam is not big, but enough for boats, jet ski and water ski-ing.
I must say, water ski-ing might look easier.... but it is NOT.... i have to drown a few times before i barely just get it lol


the neighbour's dam


me trying to ski (0 second)


me ski-ing (2 seconds)


me drowning (5 seconds)


body surfing at the end :P


me and the gang at the end of the day

And I KILLED A LAMB!!! the lamb had a serious fly strike (fly infested on its flesh, and maggots eat the meat inside out and cause blood poison) it was pretty weak and suffering a lot. so the farmer decided to kill it to end its pain. SO he asked me, whether would i like to kill it. ofcoz he ask, and he gave me a choice. And i choose to do it.... coz i thought it would be an experience that may be somehow somewhere somewhat useful too my carrer next time. but it was a terrible experience. the gun wasn't working so i have to use a knife to cut it's throat and then break its neck. everyone asked why not just give it a sleeping neddle..... but unfortunately only vets can do that, and its too exspensive. so there was me, alone with the knife on my hand and a half dead sheep in front of me. i hesitated a while, and was really nervous. but to think of what the farmer said: "a short pain to end a long pain", i have to do it then. i had problems doing it alone, and i couldn't do it the right way (jab into the throat and pull the knife outwards), so the knife came in from the outside of the neck.... and i have to "saw" till the knife hits the neck. after that i feel extremely uncomfortable...... but it still hasn't ended yet, i have to break the neck fast to .... and i had major porblem doing that as well...... but in the end, i got it done, with myself feeeling damn crappy. really it was the worst moment of my life. emotioanlly it was really challenging to get over it. i was stunt for a moment before i regain myself and head back to meet the farmer. i remember while i was driving back everything seems so crappy. i talked to the farmer about it after that, and he said it was normal "i feel crappy everytime after killing them and even though i've been doing it for 20 years, i still dun like it. but this is part of what a farmer must do."
so pls...... i dun like it, and i dun want to do it again.

I've also witness my farmer kill his sheep for lamb meat. the same method as well, but he does it quick and effective. it was gruesome to see sheep being kill, but it was even worse to do it yourself. u might think that this is all wrong and disgusting and gruesome. but if things like this dun happen, how the hell do we get our meat from? i suddenly do think that we need to respect our butcher lor!!! lol

They say killing is bad karma.... DAMN RIGHT!!! the next day when i was shifting a mob of sheep alone with the ute, i had a some sort of a minor accident... the land cruiser got stuck when i was passing through a bank (small hill)..... then i drove towards two humps on 60km/h without knowing it.... man i tell you the car was jumping up and down, i remember myself flying up from my seat, and hitting on the roof of the car while i see dust and everything in the car flying everywhre!!! luckily i was alright, and the ute was ok too!!

And one thing: the farmer hardly get my name right!! i've been called from mark, marcus, mitch, micheal too mike, with mitch being called the most time!!! on the other hand when his 15yo son found out that i dun have an i-pod, he was SHOCKED.... coz he thinks every asian has an ipod and can throw knives like in kung fu movie.... too stereotypic of him lol. he even said that asians farm i-pod in asia lol


his 15yo son

So that were the interesting stuffs i've did during the two weeks in narrogin. i had a lot of fuuuuuuun, it was such a great experience!! all my life i have been living in the city, and this rural outback bush farm is such an eye open for me!! it was really really really great!! i'm starting to miss them already!!


sheeeeeep


more sheep


lambs (meeeh-maaattt.... they are calling me)


farm scenary lol


smilley sheep!!


shifting lost lambs

pre and post exam stress

hello peeepzZzz, its been a long time since i blog a decent post!
exams are finally over, there should be nothing else to worry for the whole year lol.

so before exams, it's always a stresssful situiation. so many things to study, so little time, so little brain capacity and so many distractions. it all started when i got all my assingments back. they were a bit less than OK, just pass. but they all had similar comments:

1) immunology essay: good research but scientific writing needs improvement. read out oud to assist with grammas + editing

2)journal appraisal: general sturctures ok, but many grammatical and spelling errors

3) farm report: gramma and spelling need improvement

i was like DAAAAAMN!! gramma and spelling errors?? what was microsoft WORDS doing??? dun they check everything for you! they need some serious techinical upgrade man!!!

oh well, i was too lazy to prove read them anyway. so lesson learnt:
"always prove read your assingments, and dun ever depend on microsoft words to check gramma and spelling error for you."

to think that was stressful enough? i'm so naive, the real stress come in preparing for the exams. and the first exam i had was my farm practical exam, about handling cattles, sheeps, pigs and horses. i started my first session with cattles, we were suppose to bleed, tie some knots and check a little bit of this and that. it all went alright, i was so stress about not getting blood at first, but the moment i jaaaaaab the neddle into the neck right, there was blood dripping out the neddle!!!! so i quickly jab in the vacumtainer and blood was gushing into the tube like waterfall.... i've never been so grateful and thankful to see blood b4!! we were also asked to check the cow's lactating status (meaning whether does she has milk or not), i was pretty sure when i squeeze her front two teats, she was dry (meaning no milk) coz there weren't any milk to squeeze out. but after i checked, the examiner went on and squeeze the back two teats, and there was jut milk spraying all over the fall..... at that moment i was like "oh wat the fuc....." i nearly cursed!!

horses and pigs went pretty well, but the last session - sheeps, was HORRIBLE!! we were waiting outside the shed for the group before us to finish the exam, and instantly we already saw 4 of our classmate in that group failed..... ofcoz we were all getting tensed about it, the main reason they failed is becoz they couldn't get blood sample from sheeps..... it was the stresssful-est moment to see ppl getting fail by the examiner, it's like u walk in and you are gonna FAIL too!! but oh well i DID NOT fail, coz i manage to get bloood. it was shear luck!!! i jab in once, and the blood just came out, filled the tube 1/5 and that was it!! no more blood! i try moving the neddle in and out a bit, and there wasn't any blood filling the tube anymore!! (usually it works when u do that). LUCKILY, the examiner said that was enough, and WOHOOOOOOO i passed!!
(ps: those that did not, took a sup prac one week later and they all pass!!)

the day after the prac, we had the theory paper. nothing to say, i got OWNED......

then had about one week to study b4 my next two paper, which is on monday and tuesday. i don't like exams that are back to back: doing one paper in one day is demoralising enough and it usually takes about 1-2 days to remolarise myself. when u have two papers for two days in a role, it is more demoralising. and brillantly, i got the day mixed up......... i thought monday's paper is going to be on tuesday and vice versa! luckily i found out like 2 days ago, if not i'm going to be so dead concentrating on the wrong subject!!!

monday papers was crap, but it was bit REmoralising coz i THINK everyone wasn't happy as well. they were all complaining like me, so its like doing bad and not feeling so bad, coz everyone feels the same for that paper. then got home, study a bit, slack a bit, till 2am, went to bed and woke up 5am the next morning......

then study a bit more and took the tuesday paper in the morning. that paper was alright, coz i dun care anymore, the only thing i was thinking is to get this exam done and i'm free.

indeed, now i am freeeeeeeeeeeeeee....... but feeling a bit bored. its the emptyness in you when u have nothingto study for all of a sudden, after weeeks of eat sleep study period.

oh well, another few more days till i go for my farm prac. two weeeeeks this time. am looking towards it, coz after that i can fly home~~~~~~~~ to kiss all you peeeepzZzz lol

cool pictures

some pictures taken during the exam period to release some pre and post exam stress. they were all taken in the airport, while sending a friend off












the new boy band without a recording company XD

ant bite and mayonnaise

my sister is duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumb LOL

one afternoon she message me on msn, she told me that she got bitten by an ant. from her description, the ant was less than a 20cent (malaysian) coin, and has a red mark on the middle section of the body.

and i on the other side on the computer got a bit bored, and make up a lie. i told her that the ant was a RED BACK ANT (adopted from the name red back spider) and i told her that it was POISONOUS. so in order to de-toxified her wound, i ask her to apply MAYONNAISE.

so she went into the kicthen to search for mayonnaise, and she cam back to tell me that she couldn't find any!! so i say, if it is this serious of a situiation, i would suggest beating eggs with butter and then apply on the wound. so i think she went into the kitchen to prepare it.

but she was back fast. and she told me that she found mayonnaise liao, and ask me "HOW LONG SHOULD I APPLY FOR???"

obviously with that question, she already had applied mayonnaise on the wound where she got bitten by an ant.......
i couldn't stand it anymore and i broke the joke

see, how duuuumb is she?? LOL

she is a POTATO
so POTATO + MAYONNAISE = POTATO SALAD

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

emotional rollercoaster

at times u feel SUPER PEEEEEEEEEEK CHEEEEEEK to the miax
















at times u feel sooooo glad that u were ever alive




welcome to the emotional rollercoaster, where mood can swing every minute......




in the end of the day, its all nothing but a pass of time, and an interesting part of life



ps: pic demand by popular

gollum song

Where once was light
Now darkness fools
Where once was love
Love is no more

Don’t say goodbye
Don’t say I didn’t try

These tears we cry
Of falling rain
For all the lies you told us
The hurt the blame

And we will wait
To be so alone
We are lost
We can never go home

So in the end
They will be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me

Now we say goodbye
We say you didn’t try

These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt the blame

And u will wait
When u face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home

You are lost
You can never go home

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super depressing song.... from lotr

on the coffe table

knowing the truth
but ignoring the fact
i'm blinded with excuses
and there is nothing else left

"i believed"
and i try
but sometimes i lose faith
when it is time for goodbye

another off the list
and another search begin.
it is good experience though
like black widow eating her husband
and then searching for more to hunt.

its time to move on
again!
for there is nothing much to gain

such is life
who else would diassagree?
i would sing "di di di di di~~" in the mornings
and end nights with an "oh well"
although everything is not well.
day just have to come,
and night just have to go.
i just have to show
and you just have to know.

if you don't response
i shall just treasure more
with dignity and pride,
that is all.

interlude

i'm having a junk food relationship with one of my friends....

ps. junk food is well known for unhealthy

no more perfect

nobody is perfect, i understood that
but quietly creeping underneath my conciousness,
is the thought that i am "perfect"
i didn't even notice this until a friend came and enlightened me
at that moment, i felt so insecure
like all hopes had been grabed
my confidence shattered into pieces
who am i right now?
i found myself yrs ago,
for all these years being comfortable and confident of myself
now i question my own set of rules to life
what is right or wrong?
what defines good or bad?
does it matter?

i am who i am, take it or leave it
i do thing for myself,
i take responsible only for myself and the things that i do
i am who i am, i am... who am i?

i guess i would have to find out more
life is uncertain, neither is every choice and opinion
there is so much more to life, so many things to learn
"open up, and you shall gain more"

naughty mickey

yet another drawing by colby...
i duno why, but i luv this mickey a lot. maybe of that bright white teeth? lol

(http://www.xanga.com/Colby3h)

more of the moment

"decisions are made at the moment, for the moment.
go ahead and follow your heart
they might even lead to failure in the future,
but at least, i had lived my life to the fullest."

everyday i grow stronger and stonger, with every breakdown i climb higher.
it is the moment which i live at, and live for that make life so wonderful!!